“Remember to put the face mask on yourself before putting it on your infant,” said a flight attendant to the young father in the row behind us. My favorite guy and I were traveling back from our holiday adventures in Wisconsin and had the good fortune to be seated in front of a well behaved baby.
“Got it,” replied the young dad politely on hearing this reminder now for the third time.
Putting on your own oxygen mask before putting it on someone depending on you seems right, even if in the moment it goes against parental instincts. We know deep down it’s true, but we need reminding at times. Maybe not three times at takeoff, but every once in a while. Parenting a 15 and 13-year old, I still need this reminder, and it has nothing to do with actual face masks.
As 2023 comes to a close I see my email inbox and feeds filling up with reminders. What did you learn in 2023? What are you taking into the New Year? What challenges did you overcome? What did you accomplish? These are well and good. I spent this morning back in California jet lagged and hyped on coffee reflecting on my year in review. I looked through my camera roll, journal entries, and my calendar month by month. For each month I wrote down my highlights and lowlights. The good, yummy stuff — like the people I met (including my wonderful boyfriend), the places I traveled to, the work I got to do, and the fun I had back in NYC performing comedy again and turning the Big 5-0! There were plenty of lowlights, too — the times I got reactive, lost my patience with my kids, lost nights of sleep worrying, didn’t take care of my physical health as well as I needed too, and more. You could say that I learned things in 2023 from the highs and lows and in betweens.
But here’s the thing. You can’t learn what you already know.
I know that I need to put on my face mask before assisting others. I know that I can’t control what my children do, don’t do, or how often they want to get their haircut (Goddess knows I try!). I know that loving kindness is way more powerful than fear, negativity, and hate. I know that living in comparison to others only brings me pain. I know that I can trust in the great spirit of the Universe, and in myself as I’m a part of it, even when times are difficult and I don’t understand or like what’s happening in my life or the world around me. I know that the only way through hard times is through them.
So, if I know all these things already I can’t learn them. I can only remember them. This year I’m choosing to look back and remember.
I remember that progress is better than perfection.
I remember that I can’t offer others what I don’t provide to myself (insert love, compassion, forgiveness).
I remember that I’m a spiritual being in a temporary meat suit having a human experience.
I remember that the best way to teach my children that they belong in this world and are worthy of acceptance and love is through my example.
I remember that anxiety and worry are negative prayer.
I remember that the energy I put out in the world — good, bad, or neutral — comes back to me.
I remember if I’m making everyone else happy I’m likely feelin’ miserable.
I remember that every moment is sacred, especially the most ordinary ones.
I remember that humor and play heals, even when life seems downright serious.
What are you remembering as the calendar turns toward 2024?
