“Breathe,” the dentist said encouragingly as we waited for my tooth to numb, “and go to your happy place.”
My happy place was anyplace but this chair. The dentist was replacing a filling on a tooth that a previous dentist wasn’t able to numb before he drilled three decades ago. The previous dentist declared, “You must have a windy nerve on this tooth!” Now I felt like full body nerve ending, gripping the sides of the chair, waiting to see if this time I’d only hear the sound of the drill against my upper tooth or I’d feel every scratchy movement of the drill like before.
My happy place? My mind starting searching for the place to go. A beach in Thailand? I’ve been to Thailand but never a beach there. They look nice in movies though. I scanned my mind for more beaches… Florida beaches I grew up on, the Red Sea, the Dead Sea, the Mediterranean, the Hamptons, or even one mile away from home in Santa Monica? All the beaches I do know and love didn’t feel quite right. “I can’t even find my happy place,” I thought to myself, clawing permanent indentations in the soft pink arms of the fully reclined chair. “I’m 50-years old! Shouldn’t I have a happy place by now?! My kids handle dental work with more ease!” I thought.
Then popped the image of my two teenage children in my mind’s eye. There they were, beaming at the absurdity of how nervous I was about this routine dental procedure and reassuring me that all was well. Next the face of my beloved appeared, also smiling brightly and encouragingly with his usual, “YOU’RE DOING GREAT!”
That was it! My happy place wasn’t a PLACE. My happy place was these three faces looking back at me.
I breathed. The dentist found the nerve and my tooth (and entire right side of my face) was fully numb. Plus, I’d found my happy place.
Instead of searching for some happy place, I’d found what worked for me and stayed right there. This has been the gift of trusting myself and my intuition. It’s been a journey, and I’m still walking this windy road. I’m learning and relearning what feels right in my body and what feels off. I now know what feels like a yes and what a no or neutral feels like, too. I don’t have to flip a coin to figure out my next step. I go inward and trust that the next step is inside of me, although it often doesn’t make sense in the moment. In today’s world where it seems everyone’s favorite interview question is, “What’s your morning routine?” it’s very tempting to use other people’s blueprints for success. I learn over and over that my way and my blueprint is inside of me.
I’m here to remind you that truth lives inside of you. Your truth is one breath away. Your blueprint for success, fulfillment, and where/who/what is your happy place is uniquely yours.
What’s come up for me a lot over the past few weeks is how life offers us scripts, just like actors get when they audition for a role. Scripts are what’s handed to us — for better or for worse. Scripts are the rules, the cultural programming, the identities we are given and take on, and even the stories we tell about ourselves and the world. My script tells me that there’s a right way to do things and a wrong way to do things, and that I’m limited by time and space and my past. It tells me what I “should” search and find that happy place in my mind.
When my beloved, a talented improviser and actor, rehearses for an audition, one of the things I admire is how he’ll veer off-script slightly. He gives the character and the lines new dimensions and layers with small adjustments. Going off script in life means turning some of the things we think about ourselves and the world upside down. For me going off script means there isn’t always a right and wrong way, instead there’s what feels most true and alive. Off-script means done is perfect, even if it’s not perfectly done and doing my best is good enough in a world full of striving and competition. Going off-script means when the dentist tells me to go to my happy place, I go to a feeling of love and connection and see three beautiful faces… instead of a white sandy beach.
If you’d like to strengthen your connection to your inner knowing, I’ve got some fun offerings coming up! Ambition to Action, my signature group coaching program starts May 17 and The Intuition Club reignites on May 16 and happens twice a month for the rest of 2024.
In case you could also use a reminder: There’s no need to look outside of yourself for answers. In a world chock full of knowledge and information, inside you lies oodles of experience and wisdom. The script can be helpful, but tossing it in the bin and doing it your way can be magical. Your happy place? Only you know where/who/what that is. š
There’s nothing wrong with supporting others. But when is it too much? How do you know when it’s TIME to pursue your own ambitions?
Supporting others is one of the most fulfilling things we can do! As a mom of two teens, I’ve got half a dozen part time jobs directly supporting our family of three, including my very own (but barely operational) fluff & fold laundry service, driver service, short order dining and catering service, and an expanding teen counseling practice.
I feel good about supporting my kids, as well as my partner, family, and friends. But when the scale is tipped too far on the supporting of others and not enough weight is devoted to nourishing my own dreams and ambitions things start to unravel.
I can divide up a typical day into parts:
my energy pie
I certainly think about my ambitions and goals each day. I dream of doing my own creative solopreneur venture full time every day. I aspire to doing more stand up comedy here in LA. But no one is gonna to write this blog, market my work, write my jokes and wheel me onto the stage, or fan the flames of my ambitions for me.
If you’ve read this far, I bet you also have some ambitions that have been on the back burner simmering away but not forgotten. I’m guessing you’re also a devoted family member and friend, and don’t hesitate to support the dreams of others. Only you know when the scale has tipped too far and you’re not filling the cup of your own dreams and ambitions.
Here’s how to assess where your energy is going and get clarity on what you’re ready to focus on:
Map out the pie chart of your day or your week.
Notice: Where does your energy go?
Highlight the areas that nourish you, your body, mind, and spirit.
Underline the areas that are energy draining.
Circle the ones that directly fan the flames of your dreams.
Put stars by the areas that directly support others.
Draw lines between the ambitions that are directly connected.
What’s reflected back to you in your energy map? What’s missing?
Not sure where to start? Imagine in 12-18 months you took your last breath. Which ambition(s) would you want to be sure to bring to life before that last exhale? Morbid, I know, but it’ll lead you to your truth.
š” Your ambition could be something you’d like to be, feel, or embody. We’re human beings after all, in a doing world. As an example, I want to feel healthy, strong, and agile in my body 50-year old body. I want to embody playfulness and peacefulness.
š”Your ambition could also be something you’d like to do, create, or experience. I want to write more consistently, move into a more spacious space, and turn my solopreneur passion project into a full time gig.
There’s a virtuous cycle between what you’d like to embody and create. Find the connection between the two.
Maybe you also can’t and don’t wish to jump ship on your life and dive head first into writing that first book, starting that podcast, moving to that new place, or finding that amazing partner/community/job. But your dreams deserve 15 minutes a day of focus. Break down one ambition into small steps and take one baby step today. If your dream is to write your first book, you can dedicate 15 minutes to journaling, reading about book writing, brainstorming what you’d like to write about and why, or even opening a word doc and staring blankly at it until your fingers start to type. You might even sleep better tonight.
Beginning on Friday, May 10th I’ll be launching another cohort of my 6-week workshop series called “Ambition to Action” to support a group in actively pursuing and bringing to fruition their ambitions. If you’d like to get on the fun and put your name on the pre-registration list, email me at KimberlyBlanchardCoaching@ gmail. com or sign up for my newsletter list. More details to come soon!
Your ambitions are seeds planted in you for a reason, and pursuing them is a divine act. Try taking a focused 15 minutes of one small step toward your goal in the next 24 hours and let me know how it goes in the comments. You’ve got this, my friend. š
“Remember to put the face mask on yourself before putting it on your infant,” said a flight attendant to the young father in the row behind us. My favorite guy and I were traveling back from our holiday adventures in Wisconsin and had the good fortune to be seated in front of a well behaved baby.
“Got it,” replied the young dad politely on hearing this reminder now for the third time.
Putting on your own oxygen mask before putting it on someone depending on you seems right, even if in the moment it goes against parental instincts. We know deep down it’s true, but we need reminding at times. Maybe not three times at takeoff, but every once in a while. Parenting a 15 and 13-year old, I still need this reminder, and it has nothing to do with actual face masks.
As 2023 comes to a close I see my email inbox and feeds filling up with reminders. What did you learn in 2023? What are you taking into the New Year? What challenges did you overcome? What did you accomplish? These are well and good. I spent this morning back in California jet lagged and hyped on coffee reflecting on my year in review. I looked through my camera roll, journal entries, and my calendar month by month. For each month I wrote down my highlights and lowlights. The good, yummy stuff — like the people I met (including my wonderful boyfriend), the places I traveled to, the work I got to do, and the fun I had back in NYC performing comedy again and turning the Big 5-0! There were plenty of lowlights, too — the times I got reactive, lost my patience with my kids, lost nights of sleep worrying, didn’t take care of my physical health as well as I needed too, and more. You could say that I learned things in 2023 from the highs and lows and in betweens.
But here’s the thing. You can’t learn what you already know.
I know that I need to put on my face mask before assisting others. I know that I can’t control what my children do, don’t do, or how often they want to get their haircut (Goddess knows I try!). I know that loving kindness is way more powerful than fear, negativity, and hate. I know that living in comparison to others only brings me pain. I know that I can trust in the great spirit of the Universe, and in myself as I’m a part of it, even when times are difficult and I don’t understand or like what’s happening in my life or the world around me. I know that the only way through hard times is through them.
So, if I know all these things already I can’t learn them. I can only remember them. This year I’m choosing to look back and remember.
I remember that progress is better than perfection.
I remember that I can’t offer others what I don’t provide to myself (insertlove, compassion, forgiveness).
I remember that I’m a spiritual being in a temporary meat suit having a human experience.
I remember that the best way to teach my children that they belong in this world and are worthy of acceptance and love is through my example.
I remember that anxiety and worry are negative prayer.
I remember that the energy I put out in the world — good, bad, or neutral — comes back to me.
I remember if I’m making everyone else happy I’m likely feelin’ miserable.
I remember that every moment is sacred, especially the most ordinary ones.
I remember that humor and play heals, even when life seems downright serious.
What are you remembering as the calendar turns toward 2024?
Cut to springtime in Amman, Jordan 2017. Weāre moving in July. But where?Ā The school year was soon ending, the kids then seven and nine years old, and the summer was on our heels. Recently divorced, the lease on my apartment was coming to an end as were our Jordanian visas. Iād scheduled our going-away parties and a moving sale. We were headed somewhere on a one-way ticket. But where?
Plan A was to move to Washington D.C., where I’d accepted a state department job. My security clearance was in process and my job now frozen under the new adminstration. Over the past six months I watched Plan A go from blazing fire to smoke and ashes. As the flames waned I just kept heaping on more logs, certain that having a plan B distracted me from my plan A. I thought my sheer focus and attention on Washington would help bring it to life despite the state department hiring freeze. I was sure that considering alternate plans might confuse the very busy Universe. But moving to D.C. without this job didn’t feel right.
Over a plate of tabbouleh, my friend Lily asked, āWherever you land this summer, do you know youāll land on your feet?āĀ
āYES!ā IĀ Ā answered definitively. “I’ll land on my feet… even if I fracture a leg in the process.”
That same evening I opened up my bedside journal. Earlier in the year I wrote an entry creatively titled, āMy Dreams.”Ā
The kiddos looking out over Petra, Jordan May 2017
The entry was like a shopping list made up of the secret ingredients for a meal I was hoping to cook up. The first ingredient on the list wasĀ Write. I’d written a blog the summer before about our quest to travel on kindness and wanted to write a book about our journey and keep blogging. I had a list of people I dreamed to meet, so I addedĀ Oprah, Ellen, and LizĀ into the soup like bits of saffron for good flavor, and as if we were already on a first name basis. I putĀ Travelon the list. I hadĀ RelationshipsĀ and added a descriptor,Ā New modern loveĀ (hoping to uncover what that meant and which aisle Iād find it on once I was at the store).Ā Soul CoachingĀ was on the list, even if I didnāt know what it meant either; I liked the way it sounded. I putĀ WomenĀ on this list with an underline, wanting to focus my lifeās work to the benefit of women especially. And I wroteĀ New York ābig and bold with a long dash next to it.
New York–Ā Ā meant New York City. It was the place that had intrigued me since my first visit after college.
New York —Ā meant a dream coming true. Each day I stared at an imaginary picture of myself in Washington D.C., the with the kids, the new office, and the neighborhood in Arlington, Virginia where we’d live and I wondered if it was the most supportive place for us to be. Politics very much not aside in 2017, was D.C. where we wanted to be now at this point in history? I froze up too.Ā
The rest of the story is in the book I’ve been working on since that summer! But I share this here because in the depths of my uncertainty about where to leap to with my two young kiddos, mapping out where to go that summer was not about a rational list of pros and cons. It was not about following the dreams of where other people wanted us to move to. It was about following the direction set by the ambitions of my heart. After looking at that list in my journal, I started to consider New York.
Looking back I can’t imagine our lives without our three years in New York. It wasn’t easy to sell and give away all of our belongings to land in the Big Apple with two suitcases each. But it was right. For us. New York was a launchpad for all of those other dreams — writing, soul coaching, leading circles and workshops for women, and my first tastes of modern love. We may not be on a first name basis, but I even met Liz Gilbert at a meditation event and she wrote me a love note, “I’m in silence today! But I love you!”
What are the dreams of your heart? What are the ambitions you’ve tucked in the middle of some journal, tacked onto a vision board, uttered to a close friend, or lie in the depths of your own heart?
Your ambitions are no joke. They give you direction in life. When you set out on a trip you plug the destination into an app. It’s not about which roads you take as much as moving in the right direction. Same goes for your ambitions.
Want to move to another country, travel and work all over the globe but don’t have a passport or job that’ll take you? Want to run a marathon although you’ve only run a couple of miles? Want to write a book but you’re only scratching out emails now? Want to start a solopreneur business based on your passion even though you’ve done something “normal” most of your life? Want to perform comedy on stage in NYC although you’ve got serious stage fright and only your kids laugh at your jokes?
These are all dreams that lived in my heart until I fanned their flames and decided they were all roads worth taking.
Write down at least five big or small DREAMS and AMBITIONS. Writing them down gets your subconscious brain working on them even if they seem far reaching and unattainable. This is not goal setting time. This is not the time to say, “These dreams are impossible to achieve because of x, y, and z.” This is allowing yourself to dream and dream big of the future you most deeply desire.
As the year winds down, it’s the perfect time to dream.
Beginning January 26th I’ll be coaching a group of people in a six-week series called Ambition to Action. I’ve helped successful organizations like Lego and the LVMH companies, teams, executives, leaders, and myself move ambitions to actions, and I’m so excited about offering this to you. Let’s turn your vision board into an action board!
“I’m gonna get wasted this weekend in LA,” shared the young mother traveling solo. She sat next to me at a bustling bar at the Boston airport, and had just ordered her third glass of Pinot Grigio.
“Oh, fun,” I hesitated, mentally ordering her three waters and putting an imaginary Tylenol on her napkin. I was totally projecting my own experiences with long flights and hangovers onto the young mom. Although I now imbibe on rare occasions, I still remember the morning after a glass or two too many of Pinot Grigio all too well.
But another kind of hangover has crept into my life this last decade or so. After my first experience with it my coach said, “Oh, you’ve got a vulnerability hangover.”
“A wha?” I asked.
“You did something big and vulnerable, so you’re feeling exposed. It’s a natural contraction,” she answered.
I hired this coach to help me prepare for my first keynote presentation. I’d thought after I’d succeeded with this task I’d feel relieved or maybe even elated! But instead I wanted to hibernate in a dark room with two Tylenol and a pot of herbal tea. I guess my coach was right: I was hungover without the Pinot Grigio.
I get this kind of hangover after vulnerable conversations, after trying out new jokes on the comedy stage, and after doing something new and stretchy at work. When snakes shed their skin as they grow, they also feel vulnerable and hide away. I imagine their new, bigger snake suit feels glossy and nice, but also tender.
I’m sharing this because these vulnerability hangovers still surprise me when they happen. “Shouldn’t I feel amazing? I did a new/hard/good thing!” I think to myself. “Why do I feel so crappy?!”
When a vulnerability hangover strikes me I try to be gentle with myself and remind myself that this kinda hangover means I’m growing. Lots of water and cozy blankets help, too. I’d rather have a vulnerability hangover than an old, too tight, dried out snake suit.
Do you get vulnerability hangovers, too? If so, how do you take care of you when they come your way?
If you’re looking to grow, shed some skin, and have groovy snakes to slither with (sorry, not sorry!) there’s still time to get in on the fun we’re having starting today and for the next six weeks in The Sandbox for Intuition Development + Creative Expression.
You can join one or more of the playshops, even if you’re not available for the whole 6-week series:
Playshop 1: Creative You ā Creativity as Your Essential Nature (Fri, Oct 6)
Playshop 2: Creative Blocks ā Healing the Creative Wounds (Fri, Oct 13)
Playshop 3: Creative Nourishment ā Practices that Support Your Creativity and Flow (Fri, Oct 20)
Playshop 4: Creative Expression ā Connecting with your Unique and Authentic Expression (Fri, Oct 27)
Playshop 5: Creative Expansion -Coloring Outside of the Lines and Expanding Your Creative Range (Fri, Nov 3)
Playshop 6: Creative Force of Nature ā Creative cycles and the Magical Art of Completion (Fri, Nov 10)
When you register for a Playshop, you can hop into any of the Sandbox sessions as well to spend time creating in community.
By the way, the solo traveling mom ended up sitting a few rows in front of me on my flight back to LA last week. I noticed she took a nice long nap on the six hour trip, and I trust she had a lot of fun in LA and has fully recovered from any and all hangovers — vulnerability or otherwise. š
I hope if you’re also feeling a bit tender, vulnerable, or stretchy these days you know that you’re experiencing new/hard/good things and you’re not alone. And if you’ve got a vulnerability hangover, hang in there and do what feels good to you in times of growth.
āDoes that mean they canāt fly to Italy?ā I asked the Swiss Air agent at the Los Angeles airport. Ā āTheyĀ canĀ fly because theyāre old enough, but we donāt offer the service to help them transit in Zurich,ā the agent relayed, scratching the black stubble of his beard. He looked up and said, āSwiss Air allows them to fly unaccompanied if they’re twelve or older. But they have to get through passport control and change gates on their own.ā Ā This conversation took place a year ago as the boys prepared to fly to Italy for to visit their Papa. I scanned the faces of Sam and Oliver, then 12 and 14 years old. They seemed fine. Ā Ā Me? I wasnāt fine. Ripples of anxious heat pumped through every vein in my body thinking of them getting stuck in The Terminal: Zurich Edition (cut to scene of two young kids sleeping on the floor at a gate and living on Swiss crackers for days like mini-Tom Hanks). Ā This was a bridge weād never crossed. Ā In Will Rogers State Park thereās a bridge high up in the Santa Monica mountains. In my couple of years in California, Iād hiked to this bridge dozens of times and always stopped at the bridge, stretched, and turned around. Maybe it was the steep drop on both sides of the bridge that boomeranged me back down the hill. At some point it became habit.
The turnaround point
At the Swiss Air check-in, Sam and Oliver glanced at each other. āItās okay, Mom,ā they agreed nonchalantly. The boys had never flown as solo global airline travelers before, but I knew Iād taught them all I know about travel, relying on themselves, each other, and asking for help. I knew theyād be accompanied in all ways.
I wasn’t sure they’d make their connection or drink anything but Coke on the trip, but I trusted throughout this sixteen-hour journey and beyond thereād be goodness for us all.
After watching them wave goodbye to me at the Los Angeles airport through eyes soaked in tears, I headed to Will Rogers Park for a hike.
I hesitated at the passing but finally walked across the high up bridge. It didnāt even teeter in the wind, I thought, and kept climbing. The navy and silver currents of the Pacific Ocean to the west and snowcapped San Bernardino mountains to the east were even more magnificent up here. Walking back down to the now not-so-formidable bridge, a father and daughter sat at my resting spot. āShe wants to turn around here,ā said the father to me casually, plausibly looking for my support.
āThereās a beautiful view on the other side,ā I nudged, smiling at them as they chugged water in unison. āI used to always turn around here,ā I confessed. āI guess I was afraid of how steep it was. But today I went over and up, and Iām glad I did.ā The father winked at me in silent thanks. Then the pair stood up and strolled across the bridge.
The kids now always fly to Europe on their own and I now always ceremoniously cross the bridge on my hikes.
Iām sharing this story with you because there may be a metaphoric bridge or two you havenāt crossed. Maybe you havenāt felt ready. Maybe the timing wasnāt right.
And Iām guessing life is presenting you with a bridge or two you think you arenāt ready to cross but the wind is pushing you in that direction. Maybe youāre not āreadyā but you are prepared, accompanied, and stronger than you know. Maybe itās time to check out the view on the other side.
If you need a little or a lotta support crossing a bridge, I’ve got you. We’re beginning The Sandbox for Intuition Development + Creative Expression on Friday, October 6th and I’m extending the early registration window for one more week until Saturday, September 30th. Also, there will be a way to join us for parts of the series if you can’t join the whole shebang. More details to come!
The formidable bridge looking not so formidable from the other side
“How you do one thing is how you do everything,” my yoga teacher has a way of saying the exact moment I decide I can’t hold this *#$%ing chair pose one more moment. But she’s right. And so I hold on, legs shaking, trying to be that person who believes in herself and her ability to hold the chair pose a few seconds longer. I hold on because the class is on Zoom and I’ve got webcam on, otherwise I’d totally… oops.
If how you do one thing is how you do everything –and we exclude the chair pose because it’s cruel to hold the position of sitting in a chair for more than 4 seconds without an actual chair– how do you drive?
I live in L.A.; it’s all about driving.
Are you a Type 1 Driver? Do you have a tight grip on the wheel? Are all other cars obstacles to be avoided (and feared)and all other drivers enemies?
Slight detour? Unhappy!
Traffic? Rage!
How about a Type 2 Driver? Are you asleep at the wheel? Not like, I’m-so-cool-I-have-a-self-driving-Tesla and it’s fine to sleep in my ride. More like snoozing through the journey. Type 2 says, I go one specific route from A to B because that’s the shortest one or it’s routine! Or, I drive this way because that’s how I’m supposed to drive. Basically, are you a park and drive within the lines kinda gal/guy?
Or are you a Type 3 Driver? Do you keep a soft grip on the steering wheel, while the tunes are rocking and your GPS gently nudges you in the right direction?
Detour? New roads and scenery to admire!
Traffic? Time for a new podcast!
Soccer ball kicked by the neighbor’s kid denting your brand new Tesla? Time to play!
Are you Type 1, 2, or 3 Driver?
Depends? If it’s a leisurely weekend day trip or a manic Monday? On who’s driving in the car behind you? The time of your last refuel?
If how you do any one thing is how you do everything, how you drive is how you live.
Ok, it doesn’t have to be so extreme. We all have Type 1 days. Come to think of it, Type 2 days have become months in some (personal) cases. But in general? How do ya roll? And is that the way you choose to drive, live, relate, love, and be?
After explaining this metaphor to my 10-year old son to ensure it was understandable (and that has NOTHING to do with my average readership age, btw), I asked him how I drove.
He laughed. “You drive like Type 1.”
“No, honey. This is, like, A METAPHOR! I know I drive like that on the highway because I HAVE TO OR WE WOULD DIE!” I explained. “But if I were talking about how I am in life… you know, how am I when I’m not behind the wheel? I’m so Type 3, right?”
“You’re better when you’re not driving, Mom,” he spit out unwillingly. “You’re not confident when you drive here.”
God that hurt.
If I’m not confident driving here it means I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust other drivers. I don’t trust the car, the road, the traffic, the anything. Oh wait, we’re talking about driving? Or life?
I want to be a Type 3 driver. A Type 3 driver trusts life. If every day is a winding road, and the road of life is winding, a Type 3 driver accepts that at times it’s smooth going, and for months on end it may be stop-and-go to only be met by a cross-country trip over speed-bumps (i.e. the year 2020).
I love me a good metaphor (and hope you do, too). So, if the car is my body, I stop to refuel (or recharge). The GPS is my own internal guidance and I’m checking in with it as I go. I’m also present to the here and now. The road signs and cruise control give me external support to make the whole journey more comfortable. I WANT ALL OF THAT! As in driving, so in life!
Be like a Type 3 Driver! Not only when driving. When you do chair pose, or when you help your 5th grader with his book report that was due December 18th (and it’s mid-January and he’s still reading the book), or even when the lady at the beach tells her kid to give space to someone else in THE PACIFIC OCEAN, but you mistakenly think she’s telling your kid who’s swimming on his own IN THE OCEAN where he needs to be in THAT WIDE OPEN SPACE, which enrages you beyond comprehension.
Yes, I know. I’ve got Type 1 issues. I’m working on it. In the above example when my son told me I was embarrassing for telling the lady to not tell him where to be in the ocean because she wasn’t talking to him I definitely switched gears and drove like a Type 3: I cowered back to my beach chair in shame, asked my son to forgive me for being a jerk, and atoned myself by writing this story in a blog.
That’s my simple approach to moving from Type 1 to Type 3 in life: first wince, then apologize, try to learn from the experience, and forgive yourself because that’s how gracious Type 3 is.
Repeat after me, me.
I trust life.
I trust myself.
I trust you.
I trust the universe.
I trust everything.
Love and peace on your journey, especially if you’re driving on the (highway) 405.
My best friend called me a week ago and said he had COVID. Before I write more I want to emphasize I just moved to Santa Monica from NYC.
In August 2020. During a pandemic.
And I have a friend.
And he qualifies as not only a friend but the best-only friend I have in town.
That’s the real purpose of this blog post but feel free to read on.
So my best-only friend and I spent New Year’s Eve together on my couch with take-out and wine, plus New Year’s Day together at the beach with my kids, and later that day we were wine-and-dine-ing on the couch again. I recall that on New Year’s Day he’d said he had a stomach problem and spent some time in the bathroom in the morning and just wasn’t feeling super well. He thought it was the wine. But after body surfing with my boys in the ocean, riding in my car together, and more time on my couch, his headache and sickness cleared. Four days later he had a positive COVID test result.
Before you ask the question, the answer is “no.” There’s no kissing involved in this best-only friendship. At least not last week or the week before that. But there might as well have been.
Back to the phone call. My best-only-friend-in-town called me and asked how I was doing (before I knew about him testing positive or even thinking he might have COVID). I said, “I had a rough day. Could you come over later and we’ll go for a walk?”
He replied, “No, I can’t do that.”
I was like, “Wait, what?”
“I can’t go walking with you. I have to stay home and isolate until January 11. I have COVID,” he said.
“Wait, what?!”
“Remember New Year’s Day?” he asked. “When I didn’t feel well at the beach? The doctor thinks that’s when it began. I hope you and the boys don’t have it, too.”
As an aside I believe I already had COVID last March. But I later tested negative for antibodies. And as far as immunity goes, who knows?
I’ve been delving into the intuitive and psychic realms for many years. So I asked my intuition, “Do I have the virus?”
“No,” I received.
The next day I woke up with a stomach ache and, well, tummy issues. And my sinuses were kinda funky, my throat glands felt swollen. “I’ve got the coronavirus again, right?”
“No,” I received.
Later I pried again. “Me and my kids got it. We all got it. We’re gonna be one of the 12 in 10 people in L.A. who’s got it. And I’m asthmatic so I’ll be needing ICU and there are no beds, right?”
“No, no, and no,” I received.
I still triple N-95’d myself and went on a grocery run. I was panicked that I’d be locked at home with two boys, two tubs of ice cream, and two frozen pizzas in the freezer to feed off of, and no delivery service or best-only friend to bring us food. I stocked up on orange juice, zinc, and flour (as if I were going to learn to feed the three of us by baking?!). Then I went and got a rapid test.
“It’s going to be positive. I can feel it. I had bad stomach issues this morning. And we were together the whole weekend when my friend was super contagious. I’m sick. My boys will get sick, too. I’m COVID positive, right?” I asked my intuition again.
“No.”
I went to the drive-thru testing center. “Any symptoms or contact with a COVID positive person?”
“YES, BOTH!” I exclaimed, clutching my swollen glands.Ā I’ve so got COVID.
Twenty minutes later I got the rapid test result. I was negative. In 48 hours I got the second lab test result. Also negative. It’s been a week. I’ve been mostly sequestered at home in case they were false negatives. But no more COVID-type symptoms. I do feel kinda sick from the OD of OJ and dozens of cookies I’ve baked with the 28 pounds of flour I hoarded.
What is this whole blog about? Besides me having a friend? š It’s really about the power of our intuition! The still, small whisper of my intuitive knowing was calm, neutral, and clear. But my fears remained loud and proud. I consider myself pretty darn intuitive. And still…still… I doubt, question, and worry I got it wrong.
Your intuition, or psychic self, knows without knowing. And here’s the thing: your intuition probably gets overrun by fear and the need to hoard grocery products in the times you need the still, small voice inside of you most.
In other words, our intuition is more challenging to “hear” when the situation is about (1) our own life and (2) things we care deeply about (our family, our health, and what’s in our freezer).
Yes, it was right to ask my intuition questions. And yes, it was prudent to go get a test or two as soon as I found out my best-only friend had tested positive. And maybe next time I’ll leave some OJ and flour for other residents of Santa Monica.
What do you do when your best-only friend gets COVID? I can’t help you there. Your intuition knows though. Here are some ways to activate your inner knowing:
Ask simple, clear questions one at a time. Try this now. Ask yourself, “Do I have an active COVID infection in my body?” Then wait for the answer through all of your senses and make note of what comes through. It may come as a feeling, a thought, a visual, a word, or a sound. You might simply know the answer.
Ask the question in various ways. Type or write out the question and let your fingers automatically type/write the answer. You can speak your question aloud and answer aloud. You can even ask your best-only friend to ask you, “Do you have an active COVID infection in your body?!”
Ask the question with options for the answer like “A, B, or C.” If you find yourself wanting to get yes as an answer because it feels more positive (no matter what the question is), you can avoid yes/no questions by asking if the answer is A or B. (e.g. Yes, I have COVID is A and No, I don’t have COVID is B). You can visualize A and B in front of you like a fork in the road, and see which you’re most drawn to or which one lights up for you. If there’s more than two options for your question visualize an A, B, C, etc.
Ask questions about “What’s in my highest good?” also to elicit yes/no answers. For example, “Is it in my highest good to get a COVID test?” is better than “Should I get a COVID test?” because the word should brings in more subjectivity. Should according to whom?
Track your answers to yes/no questions and look back on them. You can ask yourself simple questions each day about the weather tomorrow (Will it rain in Tokyo?), if the DOW Jones average will close higher tomorrow than today. Also track how you received the answer (see/hear/feel/know it). You may be surprised how able you are to know without knowing. The difference between the psychic and psychotic is the psychic self verifies; so keep track and take note of whether it rained in Tokyo the next day. When you were correct, celebrate!
Practice daily! If I want to run the Berlin marathon in 2022 to see if I could beat my 1999 race time, I wouldn’t show up at the starting line without running. Believe me, I learned the hard way in 1999. If you want to have confidence in your intuition, you gotta exercise that muscle over and over.
If the COVID question stirs up too much for you or isn’t relevant, start with an easier question like, “What’s in my highest good to eat at my next meal?” Notice if your brain goes to rational thinking (i.e. Well, you got two frozen pizzas, two tubs of ice cream, and 28 pounds of flour to work with). If so, thank your rational mind for popping in with its input, ask again, and wait.
The energetic signature for your intuition is calm, clear, and neutral. Generally, your intuitive knowing won’t shout answers so stay attuned to subtle differences in your body. Do you lean forward or back? Feel warmer or colder? Do your thoughts go to the future? Or past memories? With time and practice you’ll be able to decode even these subtle signals to get clear intuitive information.
As you track yes and no signals from your intuition, also track what’s feels neutral for you. “Is it in my highest good to buy a ticket to Paris for next New Year’s?” may not elicit a strong yes/no because it isn’t time to decide.
Do you sense Ā your intuition is continually āspeakingā to you through feelings, images, thoughts, memories, dreams, and signs? And do wish you could trust and be guided by your intuition more? I’m super excited to announce I’ll be leading a new workshop series called, “The Power Within You: Developing Your Intuitive Superpowers” starting on Tuesday, Jan 26th. It’s a 6-week series that meets 90 minutes per week on Zoom to help you learn how to ask questions about all parts of your life that you’d like to receive answers to, and to understand how your intuition “speaks” to you. If you feel called, I’d love to have you join us! More info here: http://www.newyorkminutes.org/workshops/the-power-within-you/
Information about what’s safe, what’s not safe, what we should and shouldn’t do is coming at us from all sides these days. It’s never been more important to stay connected to our own inner guidance, and what’s in the highest good of ourselves, our families, as well as our community.
How’s my best-only friend doing? I’m happy to report he only had symptoms New Year’s Day and he’s recovered fully.
Since you’ve read this far I want to reiterate, I HAVE A FRIEND!!! Even more impressive, we met at the swimming pool where one’s face is submerged 99% of the time and one’s head is covered by a condom-like cap. Making a friend at a swimming pool is a major feat! Almost as big as not catching COVID from them on New Year’s.
Stay healthy, stay well, and stay connected to your intuitive knowing.
The single most important thing Iāve learned doing stand up comedy in NYC over the last couple of years is that while itās fine to read the crowd, you donāt let the crowd dictate your energy on stage ā whether theyāre quiet and not laughing much or āhotā and roaring. If the last comedian bombed, you bring your ALL. If the last comedian crushed, you bring your ALL. If there are three people in the crowd and you paid for their entrance and drinks so you could get on stage, you bring your ALL. If youāre in a packed room of hundreds who came to see you, you bring your ALL. Same same in life.
YOU BRING THE WEATHER!Ā
Folks, I know for most of us itās cloudy on board, and sh*#ās flying at us from all angles. We canāt control whatās happening around us and how other people are feeling and responding to whatās happening, or how much frozen food theyāre buyinā and stockpilinā. But we are FULLY RESPONSIBLE for the weather we bring. So, as much as possible, bring the sunlight, bring the calm skies, and bring the smooth seas.
Here are some ways we can bring the sunshine:
Give! The easiest way to shift your vibration positively and forget about how your rent/mortgage is about to be due but your paychecks are through is to help someone else. Check on your elderly friends and neighbors and let them know youāre available to fetch groceries, walk their dogs, or talk on the phone. Your time and attention is the greatest gift of all. See how you can support local businesses, the homeless, frontline healthcare workers, grocery store clerks, and so many others who need your specific magic and support during these times. I don’t mean to brag, but Iāve got me some friends over 70. This past week my phone log shows I spent 134 minutes talking to those peeps over the last week, and IāM THE BETTER FOR IT. Theyāre fine and all perfectly healthy, by the way. Theyāve just been checking on me.
Nature!Ā Even if we canāt leave home, we can listen to the birds, talk to a plant (they are such good listeners), or listen to soothing nature sounds at home. Mama Earth is a master healer.
Sleep!Ā Enough said. Nobody judgin’ most of us for staying in our pajama (bottoms) all day. Sleep, nap, rest, repeat.
Laughter!Ā āAgainst the assault of laughter, nothing can stand,ā said Mark Twain. Ellenās Pawsup on IG is where we begin our day. Paws Up on IGĀ Ā Most comedians without a side hustle are completely out of work and could use your support (if not financially, you can like/share their work, and follow them)! Trevor Noah and the Daily Show team are producing their show from their couches, and that’s where my boys and I choose to get our news Monday to Friday.Ā Daily Show with Trevor Noah
Move Your Body! Ā At home, get yo reminiscent groove on with Richard Simmons, Jane Fonda, or Gilad, or do some yoga withĀ Yoga with Adriene Ā and her pup Benji, spin with Pelaton, or boogy down to some tunes at home! Or even better, find out how you can support your favorite local fitness and yoga instructors with online courses.
Meditation! Danielle Laporte led a magical Earth Adoration meditation and itās posted on Instagram for all of us to savor. Youāll feel puffy pink, sapphire blue, sparkly gold, and translucent ribbons of white during and afterward. Ā You gonna feel great during and after this meditation… Ā I also love me some Joe T on YouTube Ā Hypnotic mediations to soothe yo soul
Spend time with elephants!Ā Ok, this may be a stretch right now. How about we all watch an elephant video or two? Hereās one from my Thai adventure that I could watch on loop all day long. I do, actually.Ā Mama sits on tired baby ellie
Gratitude! Itās easy to get swept up in how the changes in our lives are affecting us negatively. But, my guess is thereās so much to be thankful for if youāre reading this blog. Start with breath itself. Air. Life. The miracle of your body. Maybe you get to spend more time with your pet, loved ones, or alone. What’s sustaining you now?
Let the Fear/Anxiety/Worry move through you!Ā Sit with your fears as if they’re your beloved child, breathe through them, and let them move up and out in whatever way feels best to you. Let’s do it right now. We okay, and we gonna be okay. That feels good.
Compassion!Ā If someone around you is buying up the last dark chocolate peanut butter cups on the shelf, STOP THEM NOW! Just kidding. You can surely understand why they would. If someone sneezes in the grocery store, send them a āGesundheit,ā or āBless You,ā or wrap them in a cocoon of white light. Everyoneās doing their best in this moment. If you want the world to calm the F down, be a beacon of peace, faith, and loving kindness. You just keep bringin’ the sunny weather, my friend.
Use your intuition!Ā Your intuition is always guiding you alwaysĀ on what street to take, how much and what food you need, whether now is a moment to stay home or go out, and that, yep, you can leave that bar of soap on the shelf for somebody else to buy.
Routines!Ā Part of what many of us are suffering from is a complete break in our daily routines. The kids may be home from school, your work may be completely virtual (or in absentia) now. What beautiful new routines feel good for you? Where can you build in more spaciousness now?
Nutritious food,Ā plenty of water and vitamin C! Ā Or, whateverās left on your grocery store shelves. I had no idea how much I’d love frozen onion rings, so thanks for leaving those.
Conscious News!Ā If you choose to monitor the news, choose which news sources you monitor, when, and how often you choose to receive news. For positive news, I’m consciously tuning into John Krasinski’sĀ Some Good News Ā and Inspire More Inspire More Videos on YouTube Focusing on the positive isn’t naive, it’s essential. What we focus on expands, so let’s allow the goodness, kind-heartedness, and love on board flourish by giving it our full attention.
Breathwork! āĀ Have you tried breathing? I know, I know. Weāve somehow been doing it successfully our whole lives. Check out David Elliott on Spotify for some pranayama yoga that might just show you the magical power of inhaling and exhaling (as well as the magic of a sweet southern twang). Or support a local/remote teacher who is offering virtual classes likeĀ Awakened Breathwork with Christian.
Prudent Purchasing! We all need to buy goods yāall, so letās purchase with the abundance mindset. Thereās plenty for us all, unless we take too much.
Where did the dark chocolate peanut butter cups GO?!
Prayer! Send positive thoughts first thing in the morning and right before sleep (and many times in between) to all beings. Simple say, āMay all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all,ā as the Sanskrit Mantra, Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu, goes. Or choose your own prayer. Prayer is simply kneeling at the feet of the divine, or the force of love that governs all, and placing all of your hopes and fears in her hands.
Depth! Even now, it’s easy to get caught up in the superficial, like uh, “What’s for dinner when I have no idea how to cook?” Or we can revert to talking about the pandemic, the blaring headlines, plus all of our anxieties and worst case scenarios. How about instead of, “How much does everything suck?” we ask our loved ones, “What’s sustaining you now?” or “What’s inspiring you?” or even “In what ways do you find yourself sharing your gifts during this extraordinary situation?”
And thank you, by the way. For sharing your gifts.
In the comments, I’d love to hear how YOU are Bringing the Weather! Lemme know.
āItās not safe to leave the house,ā says my 10-year old son. āWe could catch the coronavirus!ā
Maybe heās right. I don’t know for sure. For perspective, it’s March 7, long before NYCās schools close and we’re ordered to shelter at home. āItās Central Park, baby,ā I reply. āPlus, we need fresh air and exercise to keep us healthy!ā
After several minutes of back and forth and some arm twisting in the form of me agreeing to buy Nutella crepes en route, I convince my son to leave the apartment.
Is my son feeling prudent? Or a wee bit paranoid?
Over the last weeks, Iām sure all of us have tinkered with our internal scale ofĀ beingĀ prudent vs. being paranoid when making decisions. On one side of the scale thereās paranoid, knee-jerk, panicky behaviorĀ like buying thirty extra rolls of toilet paper and armfuls of Trader Joesā dark chocolate peanut butter cups. I MIGHT NEEEEED THEM!Ā
Then thereās prudence. Iām not in love with the word āprudentā either, folks, but I do love me some alliteration. On this side of the balance thereās prudent, discerning, thoughtful behavior-ā kinda like buying five extra packs of toilet paper and gobs of peanut butter cups. Single mother and two children cannot survive on toilet paper alone!
Truth is, weāre all making decisions during the pandemic in different ways. In deeply personal ways. Whatās prudent for you, might feel paranoid to me. And vice versa.
When the Novel Coronavirus outbreak first shut down Wuhan City in China at the end of January I was packing my bags for a trip to Thailand. With a layover in Taiwan. A week before the trip I froze up looking at a city under lockdown. This looks serious.Ā I started having second thoughts. Should I go? What if I get sick? What if I get stuck in Thailand or Taiwan and canāt return to the US to my boys?Ā I mean, my ex-husband was flying in to NYC from where he lives in Italy (oh, the future irony) to be with my sons, and I was looking forward to being at an elephant sanctuary on the tropical Mae Wang River on a spiritual retreat (can I get a āHallelujahā and an āAmenā?). But what if the ten day trip mutated into a quarantine on return? Flights from China were already thwarted. Taiwan (and eventually Thailand) surely couldnāt be far behind.
What on Earth should I do? (I love that phrase, by the way, because it implies that thereās other planetary wisdom out there).
I reach out to friends.
One of my best friends flat out says, āDONāT go. Donāt risk it.ā
I call another friend. āYouāll be fine. Youāre not transiting in China. Remember SARS? That was way overblown.ā
Then I call my friend who was co-leading the group trip to Thailand. āIām scared, and feel irresponsible leaving my kids. What if something happens to me? What if I get sick or canāt get back to the U.S.?ā I say for the first time aloud.
āTrust your intuition,ā she declares. āItās never failed you.ā
Oh, yes. My own trusty inner voice. That faithful internal GPS thatās never steered me into the Hudson River on my way home. Why didnāt I think of that?
Two reasons. Ā One: my internal GPS whispers. She doesnāt shout. And two: FearĀ has a way of clouding over that sage voice and gobbling it up like nutella crepes on a Saturday morning. Fear is the foe of our trusty inner knowing.
We were due to leave for Thailand on a Saturday evening. I promised myself to decide within the week — by Friday. I prayed on it. Meditated on it. Journaled on it. Walked around in Central Park reflecting on it. Obviously this was way before half of NYC was dressed in full body condoms scraping shelves clean of all products punctuated by 6 feet of distance as I currently write this. And, it was long before my 10-year old son was anxious about leaving the apartment, if it weren’t for the promise of Nutella crepes.
I ask for guidance. Then comes the whisper, āThe answer is in your body.ā
WHAT? Is this hide-and-seek?!
But I know what the whisperĀ means.
I feel into it — into my body.
What does it feel like imagining myself flying over the North Pole all the while covered in a aloe-ey layer of Purell, landing in Taiwan, transiting on to Chiang Mai, and making our way to the elephant sanctuary? What would it be like to open the flowing curtains of my bamboo hut the next morning to greet the 58 year-old āGrandmaā elephant and gently place three plump bananas in her leathery trunk while she blinks her eyelashes at me in delight? What about splashing buckets of cool river water onto Grandma and the other dozen elephants, walking with them (i.e. ducking behind tree trunks to get out of their way), daily Kundalini yoga sessions, and trying my hand at cooking authentic Pad Thai at a local cookery school?
I Ā Ā Ā Ā feel Ā Ā Ā eĀ Ā xĀ Ā Ā pĀ Ā Ā aĀ Ā Ā nĀ Ā sĀ Ā iĀ Ā oĀ Ā Ā n.
BĀ Ā rĀ Ā eĀ Ā aĀ Ā tĀ Ā h.
WĀ Ā aĀ Ā rĀ Ā mĀ Ā tĀ Ā h.
OĀ Ā pĀ Ā eĀ nĀ Ā nĀ Ā eĀ Ā sĀ Ā s.
AĀ Ā lĀ iĀ Ā vĀ Ā eĀ Ā nĀ Ā eĀ Ā sĀ Ā s.
I mean, COME ON! Even if youāre NOT into the spiritual/yoga jam, thereās Ā P A D Ā T H A I Ā AND Ā Ā Ā E L E P H A N T S,Ā people!
And then my heart twinges. Travel. ItĀ may be difficult to get back to New York.Ā President #45 could close the borders. My ex might have to return to Italy before I can get back home. JFK airport customs and immigration might quarantine me at the JFK Holiday Inn. The boys could be Home. Alone. In. New. York. City.
After the twinge I feel a long, deep pinch in my heart. This virus is serious, and is about to wreak havoc on life as we know it. Not now, or even in the next couple of weeks. But soon.
I take a long breath. The answer is clear. I text the trip leader. āSee you in Thailand. ā
I’m going to Thailand, even without the assurance I wonāt get sick or that I can get home easily.
Iām not a nervous traveler. Iāve worked in forty-odd countries, including Iraq. Iāve lived outside of the US, my home country, for sixteen years, and spent seven of those living in the Middle East. Iām not braggin’ here; Iām just saying that what happens next was new.
As I pack my bag for Thailand that Saturday evening my stomach is tied up in 329 knots. My hands tremble as I shove my lightweight yoga mat into my heavyweight suitcase. Although Iād decided to go, fear wells up in my body and spills out.
Iām shaking like a 46-year old nervous traveler leaf! What the Tom Kha Kai is wrong with me? I know Iām supposed to go on this trip, but Iām AFRAID.Ā
I go for a walk to help move the nervous energy through me, still shaking. Then I zip up my suitcase, hug my two young boys tightly, and say, āIāll be back in ten days,ā hoping that would be true. My ex arrives in time to lug my bag down the two flights of stairs before I make my way to JFK airport, where heād just landed.
On the trip to Thailand I decide to take precautions. You know, the prudenceĀ thing. Iāve got Purell, WetWipes, face masks, multi-vitamins, and oil of oregano. And I have an epic, once-in-a-lifetime adventure with Grandma, new Thai friends, a super fun group of fellow travelers, and SO MANY ELEPHANTS !
Have I mentioned there were ELEPHANTS?????!!!!!!!
In ten days Iām back home in New York. Iām healthy. We all know that symptoms of coronavirus could develop within 14 days.Ā None of us develop symptoms.
Fast forward to a few weeks later. New York City closes Madison Square Garden, Barclayās, and all Broadway shows. The shows must NOT go on. Soon after, all schools and businesses in NYC shut down.
But LIFE must go on. And we must choose how to live it. And our children and grandchildren — even if you arenāt a parent or grandparent– are watching, folks.
As you make decisions during these days, are you weighing in more heavily on the side of prudence or paranoia? Only youāll know.
On a meditation broadcast on social media by Deepak Chopra recently he said, āWeāre all passengers on Cruise Ship Earth.ā Indeed, weāre all on the same boat. Whether weāre in first class, economy, or workinā on the ship. Whether weāre infected or not. This is not to say we’re experiencing the pandemic the same on board. But it is our collective illness. Weāre all affected and we’re all needed to be a part of the remedy.
What do we do while aboard?Ā Turn up in arm-long gloves and N95 masks at the lobster buffet and hoard all the crustaceans? Curl up in solitary confinement in a drafty lifeboat? Or do we dance in perfectly — social distanced — formations in the galleys? Make love in the cabins?
We choose, knowing that our choices have a ripple effect on everyone aboard.
We can choose FEAR ā i.e.Ā grasping, scarcity, not-enoughness (insert toilet paper, basmati rice, bottled water, Lysol spray, and peanut butter cups), thereby allowing our fears to thrust themselves outward like waves across the ocean. And where our fears meet the fears of others, a thick current of collective fear, mistrust, and anxiety will flow. Dare I say, this tide is a-risinā fast.
Itās easy to be in fear now. Thatās the vibration buzzing aboard. We know that fear and stress compromise our immune system. We also know that in most cases fear is about future worriesĀ and is not about the present moment.
Winston Churchill said, āIf youāre going through hell, keep going.ā
Cruise Ship Earth, we may be going through hell. Let’s not throw anchor out here!
What do we do with our fear? Let it rise UP and OUT. Fear is not meant to stay in the body. Itās meant to activate us to move, to change, to transform it to something else. Fear is a natural way for us to deal with feeling threatened. But weāre not meant to live in this state ā a state of increased blood pressure, heart rate, and anxiety.
We all deal with fear in our own ways. The key is to process it. See it, feel it, allow it, and move through it. Talk to a loved one or counselor about it. Let your body shake it out, cry it out. Walk it out. Whatever works for you.
My ex and his family have been in lockdown in a town in northern Italy for several weeks now and he notes that none of the panicky stockpiling of goods is happening in Italy as it is here in New York City, and from what Iāve heard across America.
Whyās that?
Maybe weāve forgotten that weāre all on the same boat. Weāve put such value on the individual in the āUnitedā States of America weāve lost sight of the fact weāre all connected.
And this virus has already reminded us in dramatic ways this disease is all of ours. Covid-19 knows no country borders, social classes, voting party lines.
United we sail. Divided we sink.
Thereās no myĀ toilet paper and yourĀ toilet paper. Okay, maybe there is. But I believe there’s PLENTY for all of us when we share the toilet paper.
Letās shift point of sail. Remember the LOVE BOAT show and its theme song from the 1970ās?
Love, exciting and new, come aboard,Ā we’re expecting youuuuu.
Youāll thank me later for reminding you of that tune. Or not. Probably not.
We get to bring ONE PIECE OF LUGGAGE ON BOARD, matey! We get to choose: is my luggage packed with fear? Or is it filled with love? It canāt be a little this, and some of that. Itās one or the other.
When we choose LOVE-ā in the form of trust, faith, peace, calm, kindness, and generosity ā we embrace it like the inflatable pants weāll need when a fellow passenger throws us overboard.
IT’S LOVE!
When thereās LOVE thereās no room for fear, scarcity, anxiety, and not-enoughness. Oh, and small point, our true selves know only love. So the bad feelings we get when weāre packing up the fear (and Lysol, all the frozen foods available, and way too much TP) are because they’re so out of alignment with who we really are.
Bottom line. Fear is absolutely normal. Especially now as we sail through uncertain waters. Be gentle and compassionate with your fears.
However, love is MORE NORMAL!!!Ā But how do we make sure weāre bringing the LOVE aboard?
Bring the Weatherā The single most important thing Iāve learned doing stand up comedy in NYC over the last couple of years is that while itās fine to read the crowd, you donāt let the crowd dictate your energy on stage — whether theyāre quiet and not laughing much or āhotā and roaring. If the last comedian bombed, you bring your ALL. If the last comedian crushed, you bring your ALL. If there are three people in the crowd and you paid for their entrance and drinks so you could get on stage, you bring your ALL. If youāre in a packed room of hundreds who came to see you, you bring your ALL. Same same in life.
Folks, I know for most of us itās cloudy on board, and sh*#ās flying at us from all angles. We canāt control whatās happening around us and how other people are feeling and responding to whatās happening, or how much frozen food theyāre buyinā and stockpilinā. But we are FULLY RESPONSIBLE for the weather we bring. So, as much as possible, bring the sunlight, bring the calm skies, and bring the smooth seas.
My son told me this post was long — even in pandemic times — so read on about how to bring the weather during Storm Corona here… How to Bring the WeatherĀ feel free to check it out later or now and then come back. We’re expecting youuuuu!
On Saturday morning, March 28th, Oliver, my 10-year old son asks, āWhat are we gonna do, Mama?ā
āWeāre making crepes at home this morning,ā I answer steadily. My internal GPS says it’s more prudent to stay outdoors than go into restaurants, even if they’re still open. āThen weāre going to lather up in Purell and head into Central Park for a walk.ā
Just kidding. I donāt know how to make crepes. We have peanut butter cups for breakfast.
That same day I make plans for us to leave our itsy bitsy teeny weeny Manhattan apartment and head to a friend’s empty home on Long Island (with bikini –just in case we’d be there a long while). My internal GPS has been consistent and clear that it’s time to prepare to self isolate in a place with more leg room (and refrigerator space). I pack all the peanut butter cups I have, plus the remaining rolls of TP I’d gathered.
I pack not knowing how I’ll “remote school” two young boys while working to support us in a new place with no support network of friends or family nearby. I pack not knowing what New York City will be like when we return. I pack not knowing how long we’ll be gone, nor who we’ll be when we come home.
There’s so much uncertainty. For us all. But the truth is, there always was. And there always will be.
There always was uncertainty. And there always will be. Uncertainty isn’t the enemy. Our oversized fears about uncertainty are.
On Saturday March 28 my 12-year old son FaceTimes with his papa in Italy while “remote learning” how to make Nutella crepes for breakfast. We’ve been isolated — alone, together — in our new home on the east end of Long Island for ten days. “One cup flour,” he says. “Make sure the butter’s melted before you mix it with the eggs.”
I can’t help but wipe a river of tears as my youngest plates our thin, phoned in from Italy, made in America, French crepes smothered in just as much Nutella. They’re what we’re all craving: a sense of normalcy. A taste of New York City. A feeling of home.
You’ve read this far. Much more than I planned to write. But this is where it gets good, folks.
ATTENTION PASSENGERS: This virus may attack our respiratory system, our lungs, our friends, neighbors, and family members. It may overwhelm us with its toxicity. But this disease does not know the indomitable power of the human spirit aboard our ship.
Have you ever hoped for the well-being of another? Wanted more for our planet and for humanity? Then, YOU are ready to take on the real threat that’s on board — fear, anxiety, paranoia, scarcity, and lack.
YOU, dear one, are an essential part of life on “cruise ship” earth. AndĀ you, me, and all of us, have been preparing for this exact moment in time for eternity.
This is the time to choose love. Pack up the love, folks, share it widely, and sing it as if it’s your mantra on repeat shuffle.
IT’S LOVE!
… but it’s not just a kitschy 1970’s theme song lyric now.
IT’S LOVEĀ because it’s downright essential to navigate these waters, calm the skies, and smooth that rocky sea.
IT’S LOVE and as the song goes, now more than ever…
Let Ā Ā it Ā Ā flow, Ā Ā it Ā Ā floats Ā Ā back Ā Ā to Ā Ā you.
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Where did the dark chocolate peanut butter cups GO?!
After the twinge I feel a long, deep pinch in my heart. This virus is serious, and is about to wreak havoc on life as we know it. Not now, or even in the next couple of weeks. But soon.
Have I mentioned there were ELEPHANTS?????!!!!!!!
